No one believes me

Not too many people like to go to work. Out of everyone I know only Mr. Pants loves his job. His boss is thousands of miles away, he travels extensively and likes what he does. He's one of the lucky ones. I work in an office full of psycho and idiots. We put "The Office" to shame.

Examples:
One of the guys I work with - whose job is not the kind of job you can call out from - he is the customer contact guy - called out yesterday.
Reason?
He ate too many chicken nuggets the night before.

That's actually the best reason he's come up with in awhile.

Previous excuses include:
Coworker: My cat is missing. I won't be in
Me: Oh my God! I'm so sorry! When did she get out?
Coworker: We don't know. The last time we remember seeing her was last week. But I can't work knowing she's lost.

This excused him and his girlfriend from work - conveniently on a Friday. And then cat never came back.

Coworker: I won't be in today.
Me: Oh. Are you sick?
Coworker: Kind of. Hungover mostly. Last night I taped two forties to my hands - you know, Edward Fortyhands? And I feel crappy today.

Ever since the DUI he's late once a week "because the bus sucks".

These are not the call outs of a 22 year old. He's like 30? Maybe older.

And he's one of the best employees we have...