I have class

Monday's interview went exceptionally poorly. It maybe the worst interview I've ever been on. It started innocently enough, I told the gentleman that I was just getting over a cold and he probably didn't want to shake hands, to which he began to treat me like a leper. He babbled at me for 35 minutes, never once stopping to breathe, or ask me anything about myself. Everything he said seemed to run together in a long boring sentence. The cold medicine kicked in enough that I was just kind of mellowing out listening to his flow of words "My mother likes to shop at Sam's by my wife thinks tennis is a better activity and when we lived in Florida for seven years I danced the hula on American Idol". Ooookkkkkaaaay.
Then BLAM - "Wishy, tell me something about yourself I wouldn't know by looking at you."

Uhhhhh....

Quickly my brain weeded through interesting Wishy facts:

I'm a rabid Ron and Fez fan, who spends 6 hours a day listening to the radio?
2 of my ex boyfriends are in jail?
I have 3 cats and like to make up elaborate stories about them to my husband to make him laugh?
I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die?
I don't really drink, but once in a blue moon I feel the need to act like a frat boy on the night finals are over and drink myself to the point of puking?
I have tattoos! Here, here, here oh, and well I guess I shouldn't show you that one?
I watch hours and hours of mind numbing television?
I craft?

Yes! I craft! So I went into a long elaborate story of my love of all things crafty which I am terrible at, but really enjoy doing. I babbled on about the pillow I sewed last week for the cats to sleep on and the paint by numbers that occupy so much of my time now. He seemed okay with that answer and ran off to get me the next dude I was to interview with.

This guy greeted me with a curt hello and took me down to his office which gives new meaning to dank pit of despair. Every free surface was covered in papers, cds, and plans. There was no lights on and the window was blocked by a stack of binders easily 3 feet high. The first thing he said as we sat down was "I wish you had stayed home with your germs instead of bringing them to us." I resisted the urge to lean over, pick up his stapler and lick it. I apologized. He babbled at me for a few minutes and then sent me to the next gentleman.

He glanced over my resume, asked me if I had billing experience, I said no, he said they needed someone with billing experience and thanked me for coming in.

I told the first guy they were looking for someone with billing experience and he seemed shocked. So that was the end of that. 1st guy made some lame "well, we'll probably call you in for a second interview at the end of the week" talk, but I don't think I would go in anyway. The whole place had a vibe of despair to it.

But luckily Unemployment was actually kind of helpful yesterday and I am going back today to take an interviewing skills class. That should come in hand so I don't end up telling the women I'm interviewing with on Friday how many men I've slept with.