15 years after High School

15 years ago this week I graduated from high school.

And I was certain Super Ex and I would work out things and get married.

And I debated moving downtown but instead went to college.

14 years ago I met Super Ex for breakfast and he proposed we move to Vegas.

Instead I rented an apartment with 2 girls I don't talk to at all anymore.

And then moved to the Mountains to ski with 3 guys I don't talk to anymore.

Then went back to Super Ex agreeing to move to Vegas.

13 years ago I bailed on the day of the move.

And didn't talk to Super Ex for 9 years

So I changed my major.

And took a job with Staples. A job I would have until this past February.

12 years ago I transferred schools.

And changed my major again.

And drank a lot.

And made a lot of bad choices for the next two years.

Mostly because I was sad about my Dad's cancer.

And Super Ex.

10 years ago Mr. Pants & I ran into each other at a bar.

And went out on a date.

And fell in love.

I finished going to school - 8 credits short of my degree.

9 years ago Mr. Pants presented me with a gorgeous diamond.

I said "yes".

We moved in here.

And adopted Al & Bean.

8 years ago we got married.

7 years ago we almost got divorced.

Instead we adopted Boo.

6 years ago we went to Mexico.

5 years ago my mom started to get sick.

4 years ago I debated moving to Florida.

Instead I stayed.

3 years ago I spent most of my time on the internet trading old O&A bits.

2 years ago I again debated running away from my life.

But I stayed.

Last year I laughed more than I thought possible.

Was happier than I though I could ever be.

Today I am no where near where I thought I'd be 15 years ago (Dead). I am not married to the man I thought I'd be (even though I love him more than I tell him and he's the best guy ever). I'm fatter than I've ever been. Less healthy than I should be. Older, grayer and wrinklier than you should be at 33. My parents are old. And sick. My brothers and I aren't as close as we should be. I've weeded out the drama queens, the drunkards and sponges from my life, to a core group of friends I love. I don't worry as much about money and career stuff.

I'm older.

But happier.

And luckier.

And well loved.

This isn't the life I would have picked for me. It's mediocre, suburban, and boring. But I love it.

Picture Pages

Al likes to go out and lay in the (neighbor's) garden:
While Boo watches from inside:


And Bean looks annoyed:

If you believe in freedom of speech

I doubt I have any readers here that aren't related to me or former roommates...but if you aren't a member of my family or someone who has seen me in my underpants, welcome!

I don't want to get into a political debate here. I don't really give a shit what political party you are or aren't and why you hate or love about the current government. But I need to discuss something that is very near and dear to my heart right now.

Freedom of Speech.

I'm sure every single reader here heard what happened to Don Imus. Imus (who had a fucking comedy show!) was fired for calling the Rutger's Female Basketball Team "Nappy Headed Hos". Was it funny? Not really. Racist? Yes. Imus is an old out of touch fool. Did he deserve to be fired for it. NO.

JV and Elvis (a radio duo heard on Free FM in NYC) were "suspended indefinitely " from the station for making a prank phone call to a Chinese restaurant. Again, not really funny, and kinda racist, but did not deserve the firing they received.

On May 9th, the Opie and Anthony show heard on XM SATELLITE RADIO broadcast comments made by a homeless man that included the rape of Condoleeza Rice. XM is an uncensored pay service, and the Opie and Anthony show is broadcast with warnings that it is an EXTREME LANGUAGE channel and the radio display notes that the channel is "XL". This morning Opie and Anthony apologized for the comments made. As of right now they have not been fired from Free FM or XM, but that could change at any moment.

In all three cases I do not support the statements made by these shows. They are crude, tasteless comments. BUT... this is a freedom of speech issue, and as an American I support freedom of speech. If special interest groups continue to dictate what can be played on radio, they will eventually come after other talk shows like Hannity or Rush, Or Colmes or whatever local talk show you like. Then they'll start going after music. We've already seen this with the fallout from Imus' firing, as Rev. Sharpton made comments that Rap & Hip Hop should be monitored and held to some kind of standards. Then it'll be TV, and if the fallout from the Opie and Anthony debacle is any indication, not even HBO would be safe. Then it's the Internet and maybe YOUR blog or favorite site.

I know it may seem that I'm being alarmist here, but if you believe in free speech I urge you to join:

People Against Censorship

And if you can make it, please come to the rally tomorrow in Union Square NYC tomorrow at Noon.

DEMONSTRATION TO FIGHT CENSORSHIP, THIS SATURDAY IN NYC

Please Join us this Saturday, 12 NOON in UNION SQUARE, NYC This Saturday May 12, 2007 we will be demonstrating against censorship, against special interest groups who attempt to censor, and to support free speech on commercial radio, Imus, and JV & Elvis. 12 NOON IN UNION SQUARE 14th and Broadway Please bring signs if you can. THIS DEMONSTRATION IS VITALLY IMPORTANT! PLEASE TAKE TWO HOURS OUT OF YOUR LIFE TO SUPPORT SOMETHING YOU BELIEVE IN.

Hey Stranger

The excitement on Days of Our Lives is so great, I can hardly stand it as I watch Kate & Will play scrabble. Why do I watch this shit?

I am starting to hate my new job (hey it's almost been a month). I was hired as an Admin / bookkeeper, but have spent every day in the warehouse packing boxes for shipping. Luckily I have an interview next Friday, so perhaps I won't be there long. Although I do like the people very much at NEW company. I just hate the work.

My pop starts chemo on Monday. I'm freaking out worried about him and where we're headed now. I have a very bad feeling about this, but hopefully things will work out for the best.

We got a new sofa this weekend. It's super comfortable, but it means that we had to toss out the old sofa. I cried. I'm not normally a sentimental fool, but that sofa was a huge part of my life. I sat on that sofa at least once a day for the last 33 years. Really! It was the sofa I grew up with. My mom had it reupholstered at least 3 times, it's probably close to 45 years old. When Mom & Dad moved into their smaller house, Mr. Pants & I took it in. It held so many memories. I remember when I had to be hospitalized as a kid, and when I came home I spent most of my time laying on the couch. I remember laying on it with my mom as she would read to me. I remember kissing my first boyfriend while we were sitting on it watching "Heathers". I remember sitting on it with Mr. Pants watching "Higher Learning" during our first couple of dates. I remember sitting on it with my dolls in Jersey as Mean Brother threatened to use me as payment for the dryer repair man. Ahhh... gross, cat fur ridden, lumpy and uncomfortable brown burlap sofa; you will be missed.





It looks kinda of pathetic sitting on the curb waiting for the trash men to take it away.

Hey Twitchy!

The underneath of my left eye has been visibly twitching since yesterday morning. I am getting plenty of sleep, am not stressed out at all, take a daily vitamin (all common fixed for the "twitch I've read on line) and and in general good health. EXCEPT - that last May the left side of my face went numb for an extended period of time ( about a week). My Doctor was on vacation at the time and his partner was so worried about my face that he called the hospital and a Neurologist in front of me and in a rather panic-y Pete way described my symptoms. No one was particularly worried because I'm fairly young, don't have a history of stroke in my family and seemed fine except for the numbness and a slight droop to the left side of my mouth that only the Doctor could see (and this Doctor had never seen me before - I have an overbite and I think that's what he was noticing). Eventually it stopped and I never bothered on the follow up.

But yesterday I woke up with a twitchy eye and today the area around my nose on the left side of my face has a pins and needle feeling. I'm having family in from out of town tonight, but I am rather convinced that I may need to go to the emergency room. I'm sure it's nothing.

I think I'll nap for awhile and see if that doesn't help.

My mom loves cookies

My mom has Alzheimer's. Which has been weird and very fucking stressful. Last year I made her lace cookies, and she kept talking about how good they were. At really odd times. Since she's been home I've made them for her 3 times. I wonder if she really likes them, or if it's just one of those things stuck in her head?

Plant killer buys a Killer plant

So yesterday I bought a Pothos plant at the Acme. We had a Pothos in my old office, and I loved it. I would often spend an hour a week, pruning, watering and talking to it (hey, I couldn't spend 8 hours at TWOP a day) and I sort of missed it. I haven't bought a plant since we moved in here 9 years ago. I killed the ones outside & the spider plant inside within days. Plus Al thinks plants are his personal salad bar.

But yesterday I was feeling springy and happy and decided to buy a Pathos. I brought it home, set it down and Al headed over for a delicious treat. As I stood there watching him snack on it, I thought I better check if this is poisonous to cats.

It is.

Al's fine. But I can't wait for this plant to die so I can throw it out. Right now it's perched on top of the water cooler. And it's looking a little sickly.