Every so often I find myself face to face with crippling depression. I see it coming, but am unable to get away from it. I start thinking about the things that are wrong. Once I've picked out everything that's wrong I pretend they are not issues and ignore them. I stop eating. I stop sleeping. I throw myself into something full force and make it my number one focus. Until the non issues become too big to ignore.
Lately my number one distracting focus has been work. I wake up panicky at 4 am. I stay late. I work weekends. I am constantly checking my email. I am burning myself out.
But also because my personal life is sucky right now and I've been avoiding it for too long, I am going to hit this one hard. It's like standing on the brink of utter self loathing and deciding to jump in anyway.
I know the next couple of weeks are going to be rough.
Gah. I hate my life right now.
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