It's a Fiesta

Oh dear. I had Chipotle for dinner, which I have washed down with a bunch of margaritas. So, ummm, I'm a lil' relaxed... yes, relaxed.

Tonight I went to Target. It occurred to me as I wandered around the Target that this is one of those times I miss my husband. I know. It's crazy to think that I, Ms. Unhappily Married for the last 10 years am finding things that I miss about being married. I miss laughing, laying bed and giggling like kids over stupid stuff like farts. I miss having someone to talk to in that secret language of relationships. You know, like those words and phrases you only use with each other that make no sense to anyone else. It wasn't all bad, I guess. But what I really miss and what I would trade just about anything is to have back is someone to wander around Target with me.

For example tonight I needed the following:
Toilet Paper
Hair Dye
Frizz Eaze Spray
Soap (Bars)
Butt Wipes
Paper Towels

That's it. So list in hand I ventured over to the Target.

What I bought (after 2 hours of wandering aimlessly around):
Hair Dye
Toilet Paper
Butt Wipes
Frizz Ease Spray
Frizz Ease Gel Spray
Soap Bars
Hand Soap in a 3 pack
4 things of Deodorant
Bleach Spray (in all fairness my tub is gross)
2 plastic Monkey plates
4 pairs of underpants
2 bras
3 tee shirts
Sunblock (10 because I'm Irish and think Red = Tan)
Shaving Cream
Make up
Cold Medicine (no I'm not sick again)
Really soft wash cloths
toothpaste
3 oz cups


Yeah, so $142 later I realize that I need adult supervision in the Target. In the past, Mr. Pants and I would be shopping and I would proclaim "I need that!" (imagine me pointing happily at Monkey plates). Mr. Pants would say "No, you don't". I would spend the next couple of aisles babbling on and on about how I needed said monkey plates - "I could use them for dessert plates or for Bean to have wet food on" and he would shoot each idea down patiently and calmly. Then he would distract me with the candy area where I would happily peruse while he finished shopping. Without that other person? I buy a bunch of crap and spend 30 minutes in the candy section buying nothing.

Then I come home and drink myself silly on a Wednesday night.

Yeah, living on my own is going to end up a giant FAIL.